Valentine's Day

Note: The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of RetoxMagazine.com

Pictured above: four friends hanging out. Photo courtesy of Wonderlane

What's Bad About Valentine’s Day?

Valentines Day is nearly upon us. For me, I've never really been into it. There are several reasons for this. I don't like paying for overpriced food. I don't like being given a box of chocolates all to myself, because I'll just feel like a fat cow if I eat them or guilty if I bin them. I don't like crowds. I don't like seeing other couples all over each other in public. Especially the couples of Glasgow, mainly teenage yobs indiscreetly rubbing each other off under the table. I don't like thinking I have to go see a romantic comedy, I like a choice.

What I Like About Valentine’s

So maybe you would say I'm miserable. I'm really not. To prove so here is a list of things I like; being in my comfies and choosing which slippers I'm going to wear, drinking lots of diet coke, watching my favourite TV shows, playing Mario Kart and watching whatever movie I am in the mood for. So I have planned out my own perfect Valentine’s Day, my other half will especially appreciate my organising.

For the purpose of this plan, I will pretend that I don't have a class at uni and work at 4pm.

My Valentine’s Day Itinerary

The day starts with me waking up at 9.15 and heading downstairs to do my daily workout to Jeremy Kyle. Nothing makes you more motivated to exercise than people less fortunate looking than yourself airing their dirty laundry on national TV. I then shower whilst he is still in bed and make myself semi decent by blow drying my hair and applying minimal make up. Might even put on a pair of earrings. My outfit of choice is freshly washed joggies, slipper socks and my Aladdin jumper.

Presumably by this point my boyfriend will be awake and I hope to make French toast, providing if I have bought the ingredients. Then we can play Ticket to Ride on our iPads and have Friends on in the background. It is romantic, I'll put my feet on his lap while we play! This activity will take about 2 hours.

So Friends will probably change to Two and a Half Men at some point, that will be switched off. Maybe movie time? The ones we have been planning to watch recently are; Cruising starring Al Pacino, Friends With Kids, Apocalypse Now and Krush Groove. I have a feeling that Krush Groove might win. Hopefully the other couple of the manor (my flatmate and her boyfriend) will be present for it.

Maybe a packet of crisps and a cup of tea? Then a kiss and a cuddle.

More TV, I'll let him pick something to watch, Probably some American Dad or Takeshi's Castle. I'll become a flirting menace in order to distract him from the TV. He will soon tire of this and I'll peacock (dance) to the music channels. This will happen regardless of the other couple being present.

Dinner will probably be a Dominos or a Chinese, whatever we are in the mood for. Then a nice family board game. Maybe Family Fortunes or Cards Against Humanity. Everyone gets to have a fun time! We can also have Haribo and chocolate pretzels.

The boys will then let the girls watch Made In Chelsea and we can drink some wine. The boys don't really like to drink.

Boring Fart?

Now from reading what I have written, to me it is a normal day off. But to me it is perfect. If I get a present or a card that is just a bonus. But I don't need it. All I want is to spend the day with the people I love.

Oh I forgot to mention, I put nice underwear on underneath my jumper and joggies...

Happy Valentines Day!