My True Life Story: Abusive Relationship

Story by Anonymous Writer.

Note: The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of RetoxMagazine.com

My True Life Story: Abusive Relationship

I am an anonymous writer. I have chosen not to publish my name for personal and safety reason as I don’t want to be identified. I have substituted the real names of people involved in my story to fictional names to maintain anonymity. This is my own story. I want to share with you my experiences of being in an abusive relationship and how I managed to escape my violent ex psycho boyfriend.

Meet Ben

I was supposed to be meeting up with Ben, whom I really liked and had known since I was 18. We originally met on a teen dating website; he was 20 at the time. This would have been the first time we would meet in person, but unfortunately the date never happened.

The only problem I had with Ben was that he wasn’t giving me enough attention, or showing me that he was interested in getting to know me more, or build a friendship with me that would eventually lead to a relationship. We planned to meet in person, but he’d simply cancel on me with a lame excuse that he has to wash some clothes. I felt really hurt and angry inside because it’s not nice when somebody you like keeps letting you down over lame excuses.

Meet Jonathan

I met Jonathan when I was 19, he was 23 at the time, and we met through a mutual friend of his. We met during a summer in a local park in his residential area.

This brings back some good memories for me because something good came out of this link for me; I met someone who I later went on to have a relationship with – an experience that evolved me into a stronger woman. Yet the bad memories are that we actually met, and the reasons we are no longer together.

I only went on this link with Jonathan to teach Ben a lesson and make him realise if he didn’t put any effort to see me then I would be linking up with other guys. All I wanted was his affection and for him to make time for me. I wasn’t asking for a lot.

My abusive relationship…

Ben and I started seeing each other during the summer of 2011. He too had issues just like Jonathan, the same psychotic behaviour he possessed, just like Jonathan. Ben was a troubled soul, who has been hurt in relationships, and had a heart of coldness towards women. It felt like history was repeating itself over and over again. He later broke up with me, because he was paranoid and thought I was cheating on him with other guys, which sadly was not true.

After Ben and I broke up, Jonathan and I started to become especially good friends. When I broke up with Ben, Jonathan was there to comfort me and was a shoulder to cry on. Jonathan helped me get over Ben and it was not easy for me to get over Ben; it was hard for me to be strong and I didn’t know how I was going to cope without him being around in my life. I was naive and young and in love. I thought he was special to me in some ways, as he was the guy I lost my virginity to.

Soon, Jonathan and I began a relationship; we officially became boyfriend and girlfriend. I was only 20 at the time when we first started dating and fell in love. It was the first time I had ever been happy in my life and I felt I found true love. Jonathan was my first proper love, and also my first ever serious relationship.

About a month into the relationship, he started showing signs of possessiveness and jealousy towards me talking to other people on the phone and on Facebook.

We had a big argument that resulted in him assaulting me in a local car park and being verbally vicious towards me. During the attack he bullied me by ripping out my earrings out of my ears and pulling on my hair very tight that later lead to me having a serious headache. He boxed me in my face which resulted in a bruise on my face the next day. I then decided we should take a break from the relationship and stop seeing each other for a while.

Eventually we decided to give the relationship another try, and got back together. It wasn’t long until he boxed me in my face again after an argument we had. The final straw was when at my auntie’s house he accused me of having sex with some guy on my bb, that’s when I knew it was time to end the relationship. I decided to break up with him this time for good, it was the final decision. I couldn’t take it anymore, enough was enough. He had hurt me incredibly much with his violent temper, and his abusive and violent outbursts I suffered at his hands. After months of being in this relationship we finally broke up.

I was completely heartbroken and upset that I had to end my relationship, as it hurt me so much. With many emotions involved, it wasn’t an easy decision to make.

Because of my experiences I have found it hard to trust anyone else, as I can’t help but think that all guys are the same, and will sooner or later all hurt me again, just like Jonathan.

What the experience has taught me is to become a strong mature young woman, to not let past relationships ruin or stop me from getting to know or meeting somebody else in the near future, and also to chose boyfriends carefully in life and try not to get involved with anyone who has temper issues or a history of violence and anger problems.

Looking back at my decision I made to break up with this man, I know it was the right decision to make. It wasn’t an easy decision to make because he was my first true love in my life, that’s why it hurt me so much. Yet at the same time I was scared I might one day end up being killed by him if I didn’t break it off early.

I have now moved on with my life, and without him I’m very much happier. My life is now stress-free, which it definitely was not before. I don’t hold any anger towards my ex anymore for hurting me as that’s in the past now. I have accepted the situation for what it is, I have grown up a lot, and I realised that in life something’s are just not meant to be – just like the relationship between Jonathan and I.

I have no plans to ever get back with my ex, as we have both moved on with our lives now. He is in the past now, I’ve turned over a new leaf.

Advice & Support

Free 24 Hour National Domestic Violence Helpline: 08082000247
National Centre for Domestic Violence: www.ncdv.org.uk
Victim Support for Domestic Abuse: 08453030900