Horoscope Predictions - Mayan Astrology

Note: The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of RetoxMagazine.com

The Mayan Horoscope based on Mayan Astrology Signs

Congratulations! You have finally entered the final year listed in the Mayan calendar.

What is a better way to begin the year associated with two major things: the 2012 Olympics and the end of the world, than with your horoscope predictions blasted in your face?

To celebrate the final year of the Mayan calendar (or the end of the world as some may call it), we offer an assortment of monthly predictions for each Mayan astrology sign based on the famous Mayan rock.

Mayan Astrology Signs

The Haab Calendar uses 19 Mayan astrology signs in an astrological system that was developed by ancient Mayans (who as it happens, used to take mushrooms).

Image of Mayan astrology sign Ch'en for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Ch'en: January 2nd to January 21st

We can't stop you. You are supposed to do thoroughly beastly things. People born under the Ch'en sign are the people of the night. The hours past dusk and before the first light are the power hours for you. Your connection to the lunar energies can make you seem a bit crazy, but what the hell, wear moonstone and enhance it, may as well. Tap into the forces of the night and use this energy to develop yourself fully.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Yax for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Yax: January 22nd to February 10th

If you are born under the Yax sign you’ll have a unique connection to people born under the Yaxk'in sign. Venus is your ruling planet and by nature you are gentle and loving and you can bring harmony to those around you. It is a great gift to be a peacekeeper. Be sure to pick the correct tools of persuasion.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Sak for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Sak: February 11th to March 2nd

Sak sign people are made for the day hours. Early morning is a powerful time for you – that’s when great wisdom will find you. Sac sign is also associated with the frog - a powerful creature for you, but that doesn’t mean you’ll gain power by eating frog legs. All it means is that you have the frog’s adaptability to change. Frogs can make a quick and effortless jump from one stage of consciousness to the next. Embrace the leap that is to come early this year. Just make sure the leap into another stage of consciousness is triggered by the frog in you and not by alcohol.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Keh for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Keh: March 3rd to March 22nd

People born during the Keh sign period tend to think they have an affinity for nature and natural balance. Despite having the energy of fire, you believe you can help restore natural order to our planet. Keh sign people make great dictators and rulers (Gustavo Rojas Pinilla, the dictator of Colombia and Keith Rupert Murdoch, the founder and CEO of News Corporation were both born under the sign of Keh!). However, should you not score an opportunity to become a dictator or a ruler, find other ways to let your fiery nature be known. Meditation in forests will help you develop your natural power. Your cardinal direction is east.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Mak for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Mak: March 23rd to April 11th

The Mak sign is one of the most mysterious signs of the Mayan astrology. This means you are a mystery as well. You do best when you keep yourself back from others and never tell your business to anyone. However, we’ve observed that a lot of successful musicians are born under the Mak sign, including Lady Gaga, Elton John, Chaka Khan, Aretha Franklin, Mariah Carey, Norah Jones, Celine Dion, Leona Lewis, Billie Holiday, Joss Stone and the list goes on… Have you been on the X Factor yet?

Image of  Mayan astrology sign K'ank'in for horoscope predictionsMayan sign K'ank'in: April 12th to May 1st

Those who are born under the K'ank'in sign are the people of the earth and the sun. You have an affinity for both the planet beneath your feet and for the strong solar energies of the sun. In other words, what the hell are you doing reading this horoscope? You should be sunbathing on a beach! Spend time under the solar rays and you will discover not only a healthy tan but also some wisdom. Spend time in and on the earth. If you’re looking to move homes, try living in a cave, experience the calm tranquillity of living in the womb of mother earth. Let us know how it goes.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Muwan for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Muwan: May 2nd to May 21st

Fire and water are your two elements, which must be embraced. Thunderstorms when both fire and water are present in the form of rain and lightning are the power source for you. Your animal totem is the Owl, also known by Mayans as the moan bird. Owls have great vision. They are seers who can detect the truth around them. If you ever struggle recognising a liar, try standing naked in the rain (or better so a thunderstorm) and keep your eyes open. If the Mayan’s were correct you should spot them immediately.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Pax for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Pax: May 22nd to June 10th

Pax sign people have the animal totem Jaguar. Jaguars represent leadership. Normally, your personal strengths would lie in being the leader of the people. However, you’re a special case and this does not apply to you this month. Moving on, your element is steam, a mix between earth, water, and fire. Steam rises from the earth through heat. If you combine these three elements together in your life, you’ll have a moist future.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Kayab for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Kayab: June 11th to June 30th

Kayab sign people are likely to have a natural affinity for the moon and all sorts of spiritual endeavours. You most likely find yourself searching for the deeper meaning in everyday occurrences and often get disappointed when you realise there is no deeper meaning behind most things. I wish the Mayan’s had predicted how annoying you become when you get disappointed. Don’t stop searching. You’ll find something one day.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Kumk'u for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Kumk'u: July 1st to July 20th

Much like the Gemini in the Greek Zodiac, Kumk'u sign has a dualistic nature. Kumk’u sign people often see opposite perspectives clearly and honour the wisdom that both perspectives offer. And it gets better. Your animal totem is the crocodile, which also offers you the gift of survival, timing and patience. You got to remember that crocodiles are one of the only a few reptile species that survived past the Mesozoic period when most reptiles and dinosaurs went extinct. You do not embrace change and yet change occurs all around you without affecting you. This is a tremendous gift. Now that you know this, you can sit on your buttocks doing absolutely nothing throughout 2012 and watch the river flow.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Wayeb for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Wayeb: July 21st to July 25th

Wayeb sign is the anomaly in the Mayan astrology. The Wayeb span of time is only 5 days out of the year, in contrast to the 20-day span that all of the other Mayan zodiac symbols have. During the Wayeb days, ancient Mayans felt the natural balance was skewed. It is a time when other forces come into play, when evil spirits walk the earth. This means you have a strong connection to the dark side, other worlds and other realms. Embrace this. If the devil helps you, help the devil back.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Pop for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Pop: July 26th to August 14th

Those born in the Pop sign are leaders – not necessarily pop artists, but leaders. Comparatively, the zodiac represents this period with a Leo sign, so you understand the personality traits. You can bring vision and direction to those around you and your gift is to stand at the forefront guiding others around you. Just remember, if you walk into a ditch, the herd will follow. Keep your eyes on the path.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Wo for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Wo: August 15th to September 3rd

Wo people share similarities with those born under the Che'n and Sac signs. Similar to Che'n your powers grow stronger during the dark hours of the night. As with the Sac sign, you share the frog animal totem, and as a frog you can easily shift from one level of consciousness to the other. Consuming toxins can enhance those shifts producing negative consequences. Remember, a few centuries ago naked dancing and orgy sex would have earned you the title of a witch and granted you a spot on a bonfire; you would have been roasted like a piece of pork. To reassure yourself of best behaviour during 2012, you are better off sleeping by night and wondering about by day. Things can get messy otherwise.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Sip for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Sip: September 4th to September 23rd

Sip sign people have a strong affinity for the elements of fire and air. Red is the colour that charges you. In other words you are hot blooded, dangerous, unpredictable and revengeful. Stay away from lighters, aerosols and oxygen tanks.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Sotz for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Sotz: September 24th to October 13th

Sotz people are associated with the bat and the fish. Just before you start thinking you should play cricket and eat fish, let us point out that we are talking about the bat as in the fluffy ugly looking creature with wings that loves to hang upside down. This is not to say that you are ugly; the bat and the fish symbolise the ability to move freely through water and air. Bats are highly sensitive creatures symbolising your strengths as intuition and sensitivity while the fish represents depth. In other words follow your deep intuition and you will stink less.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Sek for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Sek: October 14th to November 2nd

Sek sign is very specifically associated with two elements: earth and sky (wind, air). You most likely have a fascination with the sky and are interested in all things from above. Air is the element of mental energies and earth is the element of practicality. Between these two you have the gift of examining any situation and discovering the most effective solution. This is a great gift and you can assist the world through your grounded perceptions. When you get older you’ll be considered as a wise member of your family, a ‘chief of your village’.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Xul for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Xul: November 3rd to November 22nd

Those born under the sign of Xul are associated with the dog. The dog was an important animal to the Mayans, who believed that dogs guided people to the next life after they passed from this one. As a result, people born in this sign have the traditional dog traits: loyalty, strength and dedication. They also have a strong connection to the next life, and can sometimes see ghost… There’s one right behind you.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Yaxk'in for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Yaxk'in: November 23rd to December 12th

Yaxk'in people have a connection with the Mayan sun god Ah Kin. He provided protection against darkness, drought and disease. Those born under this sign tend to be natural healers. Sadly, whether you heal others with soothing words or as a trained practitioner, your efforts are not noted. To make it worse, your doubtful personality often surfaces, meaning you could never help anyone in an emergency. You either have to learn to trust yourself in your decisions and the decisions of those around you, or change your career and lead a basic lifestyle where you have to make little or no decisions allowing your inner indecisive beast to prosper.

Image of  Mayan astrology sign Mol for horoscope predictionsMayan sign Mol: December 13th to January 1st

Those born under the sign of Mol are associated with the cardinal element of water. Apparently Mol people are supposed to be able to "make the rains come", although in reality most of them can’t even swim. Pay close attention to how the weather patterns make you feel. Your strength is associated with water and rainfall. You don’t have to stand in the rain or walk about without an umbrella, but you have to try and tap into the energy of the rain. After all, there is a leader waiting to be unleashed.
PS: If you sit in a bathtub too long, you may turn into a mermaid. Don’t do it.

Disclaimer: This HORRORscope has been made up by the Retox Magazine team to serve the purpose of making you laugh. Although we cannot guarantee that everyone will have a laugh, we hope that YOU do. If you do not find this funny, then come back next month, maybe you will then. If you do find this funny, then come back next month for more! Please do not harm yourself in any way. Cheers!

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